Destination: Bachelorette Weekend

Planning a friend's final night in the land of the singles? Trying to decide between the lingerie shower, bachelorette weekend, or Vegas blowout? After experiencing the excitement and borderline panic of planning one of these social rights of passage I think I now have some insight on the "bachelorette" concept that as a simple party goer you might not grasp.

WEEKEND AWAY OR ONE NIGHT ONLY
As a planner, I gave my friend and soon to be wifey three options:

• Lingerie Shower
• Bachelorette Night
• Bachelorette Weekend

It is not safe to plunge ahead into the details of a party unless you understand what your bride actually wants. For instance, if I was planning for another friend she could have just wanted one big night out and a separate lingerie shower. So many times I hear of brides going to showers and parties that really don't reflect anything about them or their personalities.

Ask your friend what they want. Even if they say they don't care, let's face it...we're women, of course we care.

DELEGATION IS THE KEY TO SANITY

Unless your title is, "Official Party Planner Extraordinaire," there is a good chance that planning this party solo will cause you to age five years and completely deplete you bank account and max out your credit card. 

Chances are your fellow bridesmaids have a variety of talents, one of which probably includes being able to go to the grocery store and grab a bag of chips. This is not your burden to bear, but your ability to delegate. I know I suffer from "I'll do it myself" complex, but praise God I'm getting better day by day. 

Truly, the bachelorette weekend wouldn't have been a success without all the help I received.

DON'T GET LOST IN THE DETAILS

I am extremely detail oriented...to the point where I way overcomplicate due to my need for everything to be just so incredibly perfect! (Do you hear the crazy coming out?)

If you have the basics down and have properly delegated (see paragraph above) then all you really need are the people and the party will party itself.

What are the basics you may say? Well I'm glad you asked...

• VENUE - It can be your bride's house, a hotel suite, or in my case an adorable rental farmhouse at a bed and breakfast. You can pick something that needs a lot of decorations or a place, like the farmhouse, that requires minimum decor (for those of use who are Pinterest challenged). Just check with your budget, your bride, and booking availability.

• FOOD - Ladies, this is important! No one wants to go to a party at 5pm that only has pretzels and wine. For the sanity of your guests, inform them whether to expect only desserts at dinnertime, light snacks, or a fully catered buffet. I went budget friendly but still delicious. Walking tacos for Friday night with assorted desserts and Moscato punch, an eggs and bacon morning, and a fruit, cheese, and bread picnic for Saturday. When there is plenty of food leftover you know you did it right.

•  DECOR - This is not my strong suit. I would rather run a marathon and take a crack at bull riding then craft for an hour. Crafting to me is a necessity for an end result. That is why I chose a venue that was already adorable, so I could do as little decorations as possible. However a couple things I did do were sweet, simple, and all about my bride. Little mason jar's with tea candles helped bring a fun atmosphere, a front door bunting personalized the venue, and some pictures of my bride and her guy made it all about her...which every friend needs to realize...it is all about your bride.

• THE LINGERIE - Whether you are just doing a gift pile or the process of opening and giggling, it's important to plan some time around your friend and her new "wardrobe". As fun as the shower games are I decided against the toilet paper lingerie and wedding Madlibs. Instead I interviewed the groom to be and quizzed my friend on how much she knew about her fiancé. I knew she would want to do some kind of game but didn't want a structured night of activities. So we just made it all about the lingerie, and if you have a good group of girls, honestly, you don't have to plan much else.

FLEXIBILITY MEANS MORE FUN!

It's tempting to organize the crap out of something and then protect that well-oiled schedule with your life. However, things change, your bride may have another idea, or simply not be in the mood for whatever you planned. Have a plan but be willing to let it go.

Most of Friday night was planned out, but I had options for Saturday based on how everyone was feeling. We could have gone bike riding by the river in Tulsa or gone to the Vintage Market Fair in town, but everyone was feeling a night out in Tulsa, so we donned our cute dresses and took to the town. When plans changed after that, we got take out from a cute coffee shop, slapped on our jammies, and lived it up watching Pitch Perfect...and it was awesome.

I know so many bridesmaids stress when assigned to bachelorette duty, but honestly, how much fun to create an entire event around one of your best friends? It's like a three day present.

Just remember to make it about your bride, have fun, and take lots of pictures.

Don't forget to adventure today!

-Ray

Let's Just Psalm About It

Have you ever felt like you've been tossed in the middle of an epic battle, waged with the sole purpose of unhinging your insanity? I know I have.
A continual shift in circumstances leaves you feeling unstable and before you regain your balance a surprise attack from the right whips you across the face and you stumble.
I never saw that comment coming from them...
You struggle to your knees but look up just in time to be thrown backward by the blow of unmet expectations.
How can something so small make me feel so incredibly insignificant?
What we so often forget is we are in a war--a battle for our contentment, our joy, hope, faith, and love. The precious gifts resulting from a life released to Jesus is constantly under attack by the one whose one purpose is to render us ineffective.

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." -Eph. 6:12

Recently I've been reawakened, realizing the victim mentality I was beginning to own. When poisoned thoughts invaded my mind my response was grief rather than retaliation. I listened.
Rachel...you'll never amount to what you thought you would...you're not someone others count on
I stagger.
You're a failure and you have no place...you'll never fit in
I wince.

Then I had a picture of myself on a great battlefield, curled on the ground, but in my right hand was a great sword and in my left a shield. I was equipped with everything I needed to fight, but instead I listened to lies telling me to give up. Do you know what's so funny and unimpressive about the enemy? He has no power to actually take away our spirit and faith. All he can do is try to manipulate us to believe we can't use them.
When I took a breath from feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, stress, hurt, and pain and leaned into the Father's arms He reminded me of how entirely I am covered by His grace.

"...so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek." -Heb 2:18-20

So in the midst of whatever whirlwind you're in, whether your home life is unstable, finances are depleted, you seem to have lost your purpose, new relationships are being forged, or life just is taking your breath away, cling fast to the spirit that has equipped you for everything you need, and when all else fails...just Psalm about it.

Father I know you put me here, you have answered my prayers in so many ways--but do not be silent now. 
Protect me, for I am abused in spirit and in flesh.
I flee into you my refuge--hiding from my adversaries and a world that seems so impossible right now.
Allow me to simply be with you, to feel your goodness and mercy.
For I know and will hold fast to your promises, regardless of how impossible life seems.
I am not alone.

Don't forget to adventure today!
-Ray

 

Seasonal Survery

Even though I officially usher in fall promptly on September 1st, I've waited to review my summer until the general consensus is that autumn is here.
This summer was one of adventure--one that inspired me to pick up my dreams and not be afraid to carve out my own path. I've always been a "system" type of person who needed to fit into a cultural norm to feel secure. After a year of detoxing from my workaholic, Type A tendencies I've found so much freedom in simply being.

Here's a look back on my favorite moments from summer 2014:

5/29/2014: Amsterdam
Even though only three hours here were spent out of the airport, what an adventure to walk the streets of such an iconic city. I wish there was more time to take in the sights and sounds, but just a quick tour, cappuccino, and snapshot were enough to make this a stop worth remembering.

6/2/2014: Camel riding in the Dubai desert
You may get to ride a camel and you may visit a desert but the two together...that's a pretty good day.

6/6/2014

As an outdoor enthusiast this picture captures one of the most unique experiences of my life: hiking up a wadi in the desert mountains of Oman. It's one of those once in a lifetime experiences and all I can say is it's a bucket list item I never knew I had. 

9/9/2014

Why go to another country and experience the "culture" if you don't even talk to the people? Getting to know so many individuals with such unique backstories was the highlight of my Dubai experience. One of these people was Adebole, a woman originally from Nigeria now working in Dubai. Her story made such an impact on my life. My time in the Middle East was worth so much more because of the relationships.  

9/14/2014
From the desert heat to the heart of Texas what a joy it was to celebrate the wedding of one of my favorite people. My former roommate Whitney Parker was a beauty and I loved connecting back with so many people after traveling overseas.

6/24/2014
This is Tom. Tom is a serious man. He is serious about eating his chicken and waffle sandwich from Waffle Champion in OKC. How blessed am I to have a father who frequently gets to stop by the sooner state for a meal with his daughter? Also, this man trained me to explore the many hidden foodie spots a city can offer. I did that a lot this summer...

6/26/2014

Shiloh, bringer of peace. A road trip to Dallas for a baby shower turned into a puppy-fest. Everyone needs a little literal puppy love now and then. If only they stayed that size forever. 

6/30/2014
Nine months later and don't worry, no baby, just two official Equip graduates. I took the past year to attend my church's discipleship training school and emerged amazed by the faithfulness God shows those who seek him. I learned what intimacy with Jesus looks like, how to walk out a missional lifestyle, and dealt with heart issues I never knew I had. My life was rocked and it was just a simple yes--putting my ambitions on hold and letting God shift my perspective.

7/6/2014
Then there was Colorado. Five blissful days of learning just how dedicated I am to my love of the outdoors...and how long it takes to climb a mountain in higher altitude. Just a hint, you'll be taking a lot of breaks on day #1. Taylor Park Reservoir, you certainly added an unforgettable memory to summer 2014.

 7/19/2014
There are those places where just the smell can usher in a tidal wave of memories. When I catch a whiff of fallen apricots drying in the summer heat and the dry mountain breeze I know I've arrived in Chelan, WA. After a stretch of six years I finally got back to the valley last year and made a well needed return trip again this summer. It was a bittersweet visit. Saying goodbye to a Grammy so full of life was not easy but celebrating and remembering her was such a tribute. Other celebrations included my impromptu 10k. Who knew you could jump up after a month of running retirement and kill yourself for six miles. Now I do. Maybe next year I'll train better. Or maybe I'll just stick to the lake and wine tastings.

8/3/2014
Heading east to Broken Arrow, OK, home to the childhood and family of one Jordan Egli was a great way to cap off summer road tripping. May I also just say, we coordinated for a wedding without even trying #winning.

8/9/2014
I only wish I could have gone to more movie nights in the park at the Myriad Gardens in OKC. It's a testament to this crazy, beautiful summer that we could sit outside from 6 to 11pm and have perfect weather the whole night. Plus, I had to show off our picture in the Jurassic Park jeep. Pretty swanky road candy.

 8/12/2014
A peaceful evening out on the lake just slinging a line into the water. I may have only gotten a few nibbles, but just casting correctly made it worth it.

8/24/2014
An NFL draft party. It could just be a house full of guys wearing jerseys solemnly selecting their players while clutching a PBR and eyeballing the next guy's draft picks...or it can be a classy cocktail party complete with martinis and hors d'oeuvres. I suggest you follow our lead next season.

Don't forget to adventure today!

-Ray

A Commuter Survival Guide

So I find myself frequently packing up everything I could possibly need for the day and shoving it all in the back of my now well-traveled Toyota Camry. I'm convinced there has to be an award for being able grab a bag, pack your essentials, and be on the road in five minutes without prior notice. As I've traversed up and down I-35 and into the tiny little cracks of small town Oklahoma I've learned there are some essentials you truly should never be without.

1.) Water
This seems like a duh! scenario but I can't tell you how many times I thought, "Oh I'll just buy water there...they take cards right?" Now that I'm somewhat comfortable with the reporter lifestyle I'll share one important rule of thumb: never, ever assume there will be water. Assume this and suffer four hours of dehydration.

2.) Car Charger
I am a little ashamed about this one. Again, you would think that after spending so much time in a motor vehicle I would understand that not having a car charger on a road trip is like not bringing extra oxygen to climb Mt. Everest. The battery will run out right before your interview and all your interview questions will die with it. Not to mention your navigation out of said small town.

3.) Snacks...without chocolate
After my last grocery store trip I was so proud of myself for the stash of nuts and granola bars I remembered to stick in my car console. It helps calm the late night hysteria when the last time you ate was at noon and you must travel back home facing an army of fast food options (or for me...anything with ice cream).
Beware of the chocolate!
Unless it's snowpocalypse season you will grab that granola bar and open it up to a sleeve-filled mess if you are swayed by the chocolate covered chewy bar rather than the less appealing fruit leather.

4.) Multiple Pairs of Sunglasses
Because if you travel west at any point past 5 p.m. in the heartland, your eyes will burn.

5.) Mints
A habit I've recently picked up--I used to be a gum fanatic but recently realized the value of a mint. It erases evidence of your lunch on-the-go but without the need for disposal, and honestly, who actually enjoys those Listerine strips anyway?  Blegh!

6.) Chapstick
I've recently stumbled upon a breed of humans who claim they never need chapstick because they never used it and are thus, not addicted. Well for us normal humans, to avoid hours of your mouth feeling like it's about to burn off, buy a pack, stick it in your car, and never take it out.

7.) Jackets/Blankets/Socks/Gloves
We're moving into the "potential for cold" season as we call it here in Oklahoma and to a former Texas girl there is nothing worse than being cold. I recently discovered as I filmed a high school football game last week that the gusty OK winds can transform into winter gales within hours, leaving you with nothing but a sweatshirt and raincoat to combat the chill. In the future, I plan to be prepared, and I would urge you to learn from my mistake.

8.) Bobby pins
You laugh, but a girl needs her bobby pins. They are what keep her culturally acceptable when everything about her hair screams, "Take me away!." Thankfully I have purposefully and accidentally scattered hundreds of these little guys throughout my car. If I closed my eyes and put my hands on the floor, chances are I'd snag a bobby pin. And that's a really good thing.

Don't forget to adventure today!
-Ray

A Morse Code Coffee Tour Guide

When you sign up to late for the actual tour, what do you do? 

Make your own, duh!

For those of us who use coffee mugs as inhalers and schedule our days around caffeine breaks, there is no better way to feel out a new city than to tour the local coffee haunts. There is actually an amazing Caffeine Crawl movement right now, promoting local coffee roasters to their communities. As much as I love my grande cinnamon dulce latte from the 'bucks, I am a small business advocate and an even bigger mom and pop coffee shop frequenter.

My first experience with the legendary "caffeine crawl" happened in the heart of java itself: Seattle, Washington. The Morse Code crawl is actually fashioned after the Seattle By Foot tour (which seems amazing and I would highly recommend), and is for the slower paced caffeine consumer, who doesn't like to commit to things until the last minute or likes to be their own tour guide.
Note: all experiences on the Code Crawl may vary due to different baristas, coffee shop picks, and or attitude/fortitude throughout your coffee-filled day. So if you're passing through the Emerald City, here are a few suggestions for a day filled with that steaming mug of happiness.

1. Buy a local roast and brew at home

Whether you rise with the sun or emerge around the brunching hour, save some cash for the rest of your day and grab a bag from a local roasterie to start off your day. I am a sucker for Stumptown's Hairbender Blend, which is also featured at one of my favorite Norman brunch spots. A little research and you can probably find other local faves, like Lighthouse Roasters' Lighthouse Blend or Seattle Coffee Works Seattle Space Blend. You may notice both these blends have hints of chocolate in them...that was intentional.

2. Start with the sweet stuff

Okay so I'm a firm believer in waiting until around 10 a.m. before breaking out the chocolate. That's late enough right? So first start on the Morse Code Crawl: Dilenttante Espresso and Mocha Cafe. There are several different locations across the city. We visited the Kent Station shop and snagged a sip of the famous Dilettante mocha. I would advise trying a truffle while you're at it.

***Tip: Buy a medium or large mocha and split between fellow "crawlers"

3. Try a chai

A close relative and fellow frothy companion, the chai tea latte is a lovely chaser to your morning joe.  Trabant Coffee and Chai was a stop listed on the Seattle By Foot coffee crawl, and we definitely tagged along on the tour. Since the shop is daily frequented by the tours they were very hospitable to our own caffeine excursion and provided us with taster glasses and some savory, cheddar scones. 

***Tip: Ask the barista for a baked good recommendation to pair with your chai--you could get a taste test 

4. On the rocks

If your going the tourist pace you've now had lunch, checked out some local shops, and are ready for the next stop on code crawl. The afternoon sun calls for something chilled. Seattle Coffee Works has an amazing cold brew. I'm typically a coffee purist, but the cold brew's potency gives me an out for a little addition of cream and a pump of hazelnut. With your cold brew in hand I'd say it's probably time to head to Pike's Place and...

5. The Mecca of Coffee

How you can come to Seattle and not just pause by the original Starbucks is beyond me. I lingered. Allowed myself to think back on how my own love affair began with this sweet elixir of life. Sigh, those bottled frappuchino's--the gateway drink. Though the line is long and the end result may seem anti-climatic, on this particular caffeine crawl there is no better end to a great day of tourism and coffee. 

    Don't forget to adventure today!

   -Ray

Camping 101: Taylor Park Reservoir, CO

Sometimes you need to throw your priorities to the wind and climb a mountain

Successful camping is an art form of combining organization with spontaneity.

Really all I want to do in this post is show you the beauty of Taylor Park Reservoir and send you on your merry way, but I did learn something from my last excursion and have a few basic pieces of advice.

1. Buy a map
Thankfully on my last trip we had a veteran camper in this area, so while we bought a map most of our campsites, hikes, and other activities were guided by Ranger Jordan. If you don't have this type of insight handy go beyond buying a map at the local park information office--call ahead to ask which campsites are open and which are closed. Where are the more isolated sites vs. areas with hookups? Is there any fee for camping? Map out potential sites you want to set up so your glorious arrival isn't spent driving late into the night searching for a site. The same is true with hiking trails. While you want to have the freedom to change your plans it's always beneficial to have a back up.

2. Camp near water
For so many reasons. If you are going rustic that's one less water bottle you have to use. Your dishwasher, bath, and most importantly coffee water are all within walking distance. And there is nothing more calming than being lulled to sleep by the nearby gurgling river.

3. Bring kindling
So easy to forget, but just by bringing newspaper or small pieces of wood you save yourself the initial scavenging of burning materials for your campfire. On that same note, check empty campsites for left over firewood from your friendly, neighborhood campers.

4. Pack tarps...and extra tarps
Tarps and clothes lines will become your best friends on a camping trip. You need it for the waterproof base under the tent, that makeshift lean-to when it rains, and to cover the top of the tent if a tear or unexpected downpour happens. There really is no such thing as too many tarps.

5. Pack extra blankets and warm clothes
This was a new one to me as an Oklahoma camper. I slept outside on top of my sleeping bag on one excursion to the Wichita's in western Oklahoma, but Colorado is a different story. Every single night I was cold. I even went to bed fully clothed wrapped in a blanket and zipped up tight into my heat retaining REI sleeping bag and still had the shivers. My advice is pack two pairs of wool socks, two thick blankets, a sturdy, heat retaining bag, and long sleep pants.
***Tip: A quick warming solution is to hold your blanket around you in front of the fire for about five minutes before going to bed. Then quickly zip up in your bag to keep the blanket warm.

6. Get more water than you think you need
Also a newb mistake (made by yours truly). You think you will be able to judge what your drinking habits will be, but you will always drink more. Always. And since water is somewhat of a life source it really doesn't hurt to stock up.

7. Plan out your meals
Other campers may like to just grab the essentials and throw it all in the trunk, but once I learned this concept it highly improved my camping experience. Reason one, you don't overpack your food. If you know what meals you have available to you, you don't have to ration or moan post-camping because you could have done without that jumbo case of Pork n' Beans. Keep your utensils in an easily accessible Tupperware, organize your cans and your condiments, and make an easy to grab snack bag for those side backpacking trips.

8. Sharp objects required
I'm talking an ax, saw, and/or pocketknife. Chances are you will run into a situation where you wish you had something sharp--a log that needs to be chopped smaller, a sudden diy camping project, or you simply forgot your can opener. Also, it never hurts to have some form of barrier between yourself and a furry being, also armed with sharp objects.
***Tip: Bear spray and/or whistles might work a bit better than an ax

9. Think outside the box
Even though we didn't go to Colorado to play croquet, it was crazy fun to set up a course over the rocky ground of our campsite and spend the last night engaged in some friendly competition. Don't forget that deck or two of cards, guitar, or dirt bike. It's like an upgrade to your trip.

10. Bring a camera
iPhone or Canon 5D, it really doesn't matter. It's Colorado, and it will be beautiful. You'll wish you had captured that double rainbow going all the way across the sky.

And speaking of...here are my Colorado moments.

Don't forget to adventure today!

-Ray